Find out your partners love language
The author, Gary Chapman, based his theory that everyone has a primary love language that is, a category of behaviors that they most immediately associate with affection on his own observations as a counselor. Enumerated in the book and now well known to millions, the five love languages are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, giving and receiving gifts, and words of affirmation. Some would be jokes: Brunch is my love language. Downtempo experimental bass is my love language.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Find Your Love Language (TEST)
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Learn to Speak Your Partner’s Love Languages
Does he or she know yours? According to the theory, we also tend to express our love to our partners in our own preferred language. But of course, ours may not match up with theirs! Ideally, he or she will do the same for you. Overall, this idea has definitely been appealing to the general public. Surprisingly, not many studies have actually been done.
Recently, however, experts worked with about 65 couples to try to find out more. They also wanted to look at a behavior called self-regulation. Doing things to maintain the relationship, on the other hand, did seem to help somewhat. But this was only true for some couples. So, what should we take from all this? Love languages are a fun concept, and it can be helpful or interesting to talk about what we and our partners prefer. However, at least for now, it might be more productive to focus on other relationship improvement strategies, like communication skills , learning to fight fair , and supporting your partner.
Looking for ways to connect and get closer with your partner? Heading towards marriage? All our programs are taught by trained professionals and are welcoming to all. Sign up today! Bunt, S. Walking the walk, talking the talk: Love languages, self-regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships. Advance online publication. Egbert, N. Speaking the language of relational maintenance: A validity test of Chapman's five love languages.
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It Isn’t About Your Love Language; It’s About Your Partner’s
Does he or she know yours? According to the theory, we also tend to express our love to our partners in our own preferred language. But of course, ours may not match up with theirs! Ideally, he or she will do the same for you. Overall, this idea has definitely been appealing to the general public.
In reality, they may wish we had helped them cross something off their never-ending to-do list instead. This presumptive approach can be ineffective because we all have different preferences when it comes to what makes us feel loved and cared for. In the book, he outlines the five love languages: words of affirmation , acts of service , receiving gifts , quality time and physical touch. I discovered every person understands and receives love in a specific language, one of five to be precise. The other four are just as important and offer [other] ways to express love to each other.
Decode Your Partner’s Love Language
We all can have selfish tendencies. When we find ourselves in relationships, success often comes with actively tending to the wants and needs of the other person. There are 5 love languages. Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, and quality time. Do you know your love language? You can find out by taking an official 5 love languages quiz. Most of us show love and receive love using multiple love languages. Your love languages will be numerically ranked from the most important to the least. This love language is the most common, especially when it comes to men.
Continuing Education Resources
I know that is not my primary love language. If you are regularly doing acts of service for others, this may be your love language. If you are consistently verbally affirming people, then Words of Affirmation is likely your love language. Your complaints reveal your inner desires. If you have difficulty remembering what you complain about most often, I suggest that you ask your spouse.
Whether we show them love by doing extra jobs around the house, expressing how you feel about them, or giving them a big hug at the end of a hard day, nothing seems to be working. By better understanding the languages we can in turn understand our partner by identifying how they show us love and how we should show them love — overall strengthening the bond and communication in the relationship. We take a look at the five love languages, which primary love language you and your partner identify with, and how you can use them to your advantage.
Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language
After many years of being in a relationship, you might find yourself not fully understanding and communicating well with your partner. There may not be anything wrong with your relationship other than the differences in your ways of communicating and expressing love. According to Dr.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What is Your Love Language?
Perhaps you feel out of touch with your partner, and want to take steps to improve that relationship. A necessary component to any satisfying relationship is building a culture of appreciation where you and your partner feel loved and appreciated. According to Chapman, there are five different love languages. All five are important, and we all express love through all five at different times. However, each person typically has one or two dominant love languages. As you can see, there can be many differences within any given love language.
Do You Speak Your Partner’s Love Language? Does It Matter?
In the book Dr. Chapman, through 30 years of experience arrives at the conclusion that relationships will be easier if only couples could understand each others love languages. He says people respond best to certain actions and to get the best out of your relationship, you have to know what your partner's favourite action is. While all the languages are great and should be a part of all relationships, there's always a predominant one and that's the one to mostly focus on. Partners like this are very hands on. Physical neglect and abuse should be avoided with this kind of partner. It kills them on the inside. The need to always be around you at every opportunity they get.
Relationships are complicated, and whether you've been together for two weeks or two decades, communication is the constant puzzle that needs to be figured out. If you're in a long-term relationship, you may think you know the ins and outs of your relationship — but hang tight because this next bit of news may blow your mind. Everyone prefers to give and receive love in a different way, and if you don't know the five basic love languages and how they relate to you and your partner, you may not be as in sync as you think. Cue the explosion. Valeria Chuba , a clinical sexologist, sex educator, and host of the Get Sex-Smart podcast.