Girlfriend need to lose weight
We met senior year of college and hit it off, and it was awesome to have someone around while adjusting to life after college. The problems started about six months after graduation. I noticed my girlfriend had gained about pounds in this short period of time. She was used to eating whatever she wanted and never exercising. When she started sitting at a desk all day, this turned into a problem.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT 'PRANK' ON MY GIRLFRIEND
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Get Your Girlfriend to Lose Weight - 8 Tested TipsContent:
- My Girlfriend Won’t Stick to Her Diet. Do I Say Something?
- Lose Weight Fast
- Are You an Asshole If You Ask Your Partner to Lose Weight?
- Help Her Lose Weight
- Data Protection Choices
- I Told My Girlfriend She Needed To Lose Weight, Now She Has An Eating Disorder
- Guy wants to ask girlfriend to lose weight, internet destroys him
- Subscribe to RSS
- Your girlfriend secretly thinks you’re fat
My Girlfriend Won’t Stick to Her Diet. Do I Say Something?
My girlfriend is in the process of losing weight, and the topic comes up between us occasionally at her instigation , usually with a context of "I'm going to be so much hotter in a few months". She's very much doing it for herself, and I don't think there's unhealthy body image stuff attached. From a purely objective standpoint, I can acknowledge that there is room for her to get slimmer without being unhealthy. I, however, being thoroughly enamoured with her, think she's the hottest thing on two legs irrespective of what size dress she wears.
I generally express this opinion, but I'm a little worried that it might come across as rubbishing something that she's doing for herself. I don't want to express either "you shouldn't lose weight" or "you'd be hotter if you did lose weight" - I think she's gorgeous, and I think she'll still be gorgeous if she lost some weight.
It makes no difference to me, and it's her body anyway, I have no say in the matter even if I did have an opinion. How do I respond when she brings up the topic, so that it doesn't come across like I'm either being unsupportive of her efforts or telling her she needs to lose weight?
This subject is interesting. I'm going to assume your girlfriend's personality suggests that she isn't too sensitive about this stuff given the information. Objectively, anyone who can healthily lose weight, should lose weight if the goal is overall health. Even slight variations of weight have medically-proven effects on health and lifespan . Please, do not ever tell anyone that they shouldn't lose weight, barring serious medical concerns and never tell anyone, especially your girlfriend, that they should lose weight, either.
Your viewpoint is healthy, so don't be ashamed of it. Embrace it. Personally, I think you have the right idea, you're just having trouble expressing it. Something like this expresses your opinions of her currently, without telling her that she should or shouldn't continue. You should also mention something positive to ensure that she knows how you feel. Something like:. It's awesome that you want to be healthier, and I'm proud of you either way, and [insert gushy comment about how pretty she currently is].
In fact, the less you mention weight, the better. If I were in this situation, I'd keep it in the context of health.
I'm saying that anything other than average weight is not ideal. There are people who need to lose weight and there are people who need to gain weight. If the problem is immediately-life-or-serious-harm-threatening, it's okay to speak up. If not, I recommend leaving it to the doctors or go to medical school because otherwise it's not really your business.
I have a very similar situation in my relationship where my SO is trying to better themselves despite me thinking they're already perfect. My advice for you is to get excited and stay encouraging!
When discussing this, focus on the benefits for her , not yourself--that's the reason she's doing this after all. For example, try asking if she has any goals or if she doesn't, it could be fun to set some! Is it fitting a certain size of jeans or a certain swimsuit? Or maybe it's a weight number.
Once you know what she's working towards, you can specifically mention this when discussing her plans:. Don't overthink this.
If she's decided to do this, then she has her own reasons and as the SO, the best thing you can do is push her forward! Weight is a touchy subject. My partner and I have both varied our weight quite a bit over the past 10 years or so and over that time we have both been sensitive in our self image. What I have learned is that it is much much better to focus on health than looks.
Since you don't mind either way, you can emphasize that you like how she is now while still being supportive of her health. The number on the scale is just a number. It's so great that you're focusing on being healthy and I really appreciate that. The number on the scale doesn't matter so much to me as long as you are looking after yourself!
Losing weight takes a lot of discipline, endurance and determination. She seems to be self-aware enough to know that she is looking good already and will look even better in the future, so don't stress the superficial and obvious. Coming back from a run? Eating salad instead of cake? Let her know how you would not have the fortitude to resist the temptation!
That's some really good resilience. She should be proud for not quitting, but getting back at it where most people would use this situation as an excuse to not even try any more. Those things work when she has started the workout already, if, however, she is not at that point yet, you might encourage her by getting involved yourself.
It is much easier to remove yourself from the bed in the mornings if you're not going to work out by yourself. If you are not interested in joining her on the diet or workout, you could still tell her how seeing her progress helped you to pick up some good habits yourself, like meditation or simply walking in the park for recreation, rather than watching TV. By focusing on the mental, rather than physical, aspects of her efforts you can show encouragement and care, without giving her wrong impressions.
Of course, whatever you say should be one hundred percent honest at all times though. I think she's gorgeous, and I think she'll still be gorgeous if she lost some weight. It makes no difference to me,. Now I actually disagree that this implies "she's not doing it for me".
That it does not change that she is first choice for you actually means that she is not trying to effect a change on your choice but rather on how happy she feels you can be about it. So likely the right frame of mind is "I cannot imagine right now being more infatuated with you than I am but are certainly open to let myself be surprised".
And in some manners it can turn out like interior decoration: you cannot really imagine assigning any significance to it but when getting to live with its results, one has to acknowledge that it does actually make a difference.
So keep your mind open about being impressed and don't sabotage her efforts by closing your mind to the possibility of being appreciative of the results. For me personally it's not as much the result of dieting when starting from reasonable size that is but of exercise that's most relevant: I like touching something feeling alive, and basic musculature does that job better than either fat or bones. Again: nothing wrong by letting your tastes be led by who you chose to embrace anyway, but be open about appreciating changes even if they don't aim to change your choice.
I've been having the same conversation with my wife for the past twenty years, except for that period in there when we had lost the weight alas, she gained part of it back and I gained almost all of it back. In her case, there are other body image issues, which also play into it.
This may also be the case with the OP's girlfriend as well. Example: "Yes, sweetheart, you could stand to lose some weight. We both need to. I want to have a lot of years to spend with you, so I don't want either of us to drop dead of a heart attack. That doesn't mean that I don't find you drop-dead gorgeous. A woman once gave me some advice that seems to work quite well. You only need tell her 3 things:. I changed the third one by adding a 'to me' at the end - as the song goes, "you are so beautiful, to me.
Specifically to losing weight, if she says, "I'll be hotter Or, if so you'll still be sexy in my eyes. Or, you'll always be beautiful to me. If one of her motivations is that she believes that you'll find her more attractive afterwards and she later discovers that your opinion of her attractiveness hasn't changed then she might feel a bit disappointed or possibly even decieved if you haven't told her otherwise.
I'm not implying that not telling her is a form of deception, I'm just saying that it's possible that she might feel that way, especially if it's a bigger motivational factor than she's letting on. Sometimes people get ideas in their heads about how people will react to something that turn out to be drastically different from how the person would actually react and it can be very disheartening when that happens, especially if a person has gone to a lot of effort.
All in all though, it's better to be sure and being able to be open and frank about your feelings is important in a relationship. Ask her if she's losing weight purely for health reasons, or of part of her motivation for losing weight is because she thinks she'll be more attractive.
Whatever she replies, tell her that her weight loss won't make you find her any more or any less attractive than she already is.
Then reassure her that you will continue supporting her, but you just wanted to make sure she understands how you feel about it because you don't want her to be under the false impression that her losing weight will affect your opinion of her attractiveness. After you've discussed it with her, go ahead with whatever she decides, let your mind be at ease and don't bring it up again unless she wants to discuss it further.
This is an especially difficult subject because for many years the world has conflated skinnyness with attractiveness, and the media has made sure to reinforce that notion as much as possible.
As the saying goes though, beauty is in the eye of the beholder - everyone has different tastes in what they find attractive e. For every person that finds someone attractive, there's another who doesn't. Hence I personally think weight loss should only be done for health reasons or if a person truly thinks that it makes them look better in their own opinion, and not because of the opinions of others. Either way, for some people it can be a slippery slope, and it shouldn't be done on a whim.
You are treading on thin ice here. Apparently mentioned in one comment she feels like she has to reduce weight due to professional reasons. That is a whole lot of pressure and she can use all the support she can get. A significant other who tells her that they could not care less about any change is sabotaging her efforts. This will be worse if you don't show any inclination to follow her example. If the body image she thinks she owes her job is deprioritized and ridiculed by you, that is akin to a passive-aggressive sabotage of her career choice and the personal efforts she thinks she has to pursue.
At the same time, adopting that body image and the respective personal standards means that if she is successful, she'll be viewing you with those metrics as well.
Lose Weight Fast
The world was quick to inform him that no, it's not okay to ask your significant other to lose weight for you, especially when it's simply for the sake of losing weight. And I feel like a bad person for being bothered by it. The post has so far accumulated over 9, comments, many calling out a dysfunction in his relationship. She deserves someone who loves all of her, and you need to be with someone your type.
How can you make her feel motivated to lose the weight and to feel happy about doing it, rather than having to get into unnecessary arguments with her where you try to convince her to lose the weight and then, she ends up getting angry at you and it causes problems between you and her? What you need to understand is that her level of motivation to look good for you is directly linked to her level of attraction for you. She then starts asking you to put in loads of effort to improve your physical appearance for her. So the point here is that if you want your woman to lose weight, you first have to make sure that she feels enough attraction for you to actually care about maintaining your interest and to not want to lose you.
Are You an Asshole If You Ask Your Partner to Lose Weight?
Beth is our source for the answers. She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked. That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman dappered. She complains, often, about the extra weight. It consistently effects how she feels about herself. For example, eating a salad for dinner and then at 10 PM busting open a pint of ice cream and eating half of it. What can I do here? Keep it civil in the comments section, mmmkay?
Help Her Lose Weight
Lose Weight Fast But when they smelled my scent, they became restless again, and Lose Weight Fast the terrible noise became louder. When you come here, you will know what to do. I don t want lose weight fast to be too vague, but then you will understand. So, Donovan had to take a taxi lose weight fast back because PJ didn how many grams of sugar should you eat when trying to lose weight t want him to come weight loss centers florence sc in.
By Lauren Steussy. November 2, pm Updated November 2, pm. Last Thursday, a New York man wondered aloud to the internet if he could ask his girlfriend to lose weight. The resounding answer, per social media users?
Data Protection Choices
Q: My girlfriend gained weight. Is there a right way to encourage her to slim down again, or do I avoid the issue all together? But I would advise you to think very, very carefully about how you do it. Maybe something about more cardio each week?SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How do you tell your girlfriend she needs to lose weight- This is a toughy
She was a bombshell when you met her, but as long-term commitment settled in so did a few extra pounds on her hips. We all gain a little weight as we age, but if she now ignores healthy habits altogether, it's time to help her realize the risks, without being cruel. There's a fine line between insulting her, and helping her. Learn how to approach the subject the right way. You'll never get anywhere if you say, "Looks like you've put on a few pounds" or "Are you really going to eat that? The best thing you can do is to be a nutritional and fitness role model and support healthy behavior.
I Told My Girlfriend She Needed To Lose Weight, Now She Has An Eating Disorder
Guy wants to ask girlfriend to lose weight, internet destroys him
Subscribe to RSS
Your girlfriend secretly thinks you’re fat