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My boyfriend is very jealous and controlling

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There is a very fine line between having a protective lover and a possessive lover …. What separates innocent possessiveness as seen in the first few insecure stages of love with aggressive possessiveness? When left unexplored and unresolved, possessive relationships can amount to feelings of profound unhappiness, anxiety, anger, and even physical or emotional abuse. Is your relationship healthy and supportive of your well-being, or unhealthy and destructive to your health and happiness? Although it can be hard to admit that you have a possessive boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, it is worth getting real about your relationship for your OWN inner peace of mind.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Do You Date A jealous And Controlling Man

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Stop Being Controlling And Jealous - Don't Push Your Girl Away!

Unhealthy Relationship Behaviors Series: Jealousy

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Acting overbearing and possessive can change a loving relationship into one filled with envy, terror and control. Possessiveness comes from feelings of insecurity in a relationship. This person doubts the other out of his or her own negative feelings and, as a result, will become consumed with jealousy.

This jealousy will grow into control. This is not only a concept found in intimate relationships, but friendships as well. The trouble with this is that the more overbearing a person acts, the more the other person will try to break free.

The inherent problem is the controlling person is actually just pushing his or her partner further and further away, expecting the counterpart to conform to his or her values, wishes and beliefs. If you are unsure why your partner is acting in this manner, you need to reflect back on your relationship. Have you done something to cause your partner to feel this way or does this come from his or her own insecurities? Instead of acting in a controlling manner, it is better to openly, honestly and calmly discuss the problem.

The thing people fail to realize is the less controlling you act, the better your relationship will be. Your partner will stop trying to escape you and will relish in the love this relationship once had. If someone is trying to control you, you need to remember that you are equally if not more important. Do not give up your lifestyle, your friends or your values just to appease this person.

If he or she really, truly loved you he or she would accept you for who you are without trying to change you. If you do succumb to this, you risk losing your identity -- what makes you, you.

This will only result in you being miserable and depressed. Be careful because that once happy relationship can turn you into a despondent, pathetic person.

There is a huge difference between warranted concerns and unwarranted. If you are getting the blame for this, your partner has some serious issues. However, if you respond to these advances, he should be concerned. In a good relationship, there is no jealously or possessiveness.

You need to support each other in your endeavors and not boss the other around. If your partner does not modify his or her overbearing behavior, he or she runs the risk of causing damage to the relationship to the point where he or she will completely back his or her efforts or break it off altogether. Acting in a possessive manner is counterproductive, as no man or woman wants someone who treats him or her this way. This is not only stifling, but also honestly mildly frightening for anyone.

Everyone deserves his or her privacy. Stop checking up on the other person at all times to see what he or she is doing. You should be comfortable enough with this person not to do this. Furthermore, why would you even want to be in the sort of relationship where you need to do these things?

In fact, it will more than likely make things worse. Have confidence in your relationship. If you think you will succeed, you will, just as if you think you will fail, you will. What you think will happen because you will act in a way to make your beliefs happen.

You need to learn how to control your own behavior in every possible way. You have a life of your own, concern yourself with that more so than what your partner is doing every second of the day. Trust me, you both will be a hell of a lot happier. Ultimately, control stems from insecurity.

Maybe your partner feels like he or she struck gold, so to speak, and he or she is terrified of losing you. This person probably feels that he or she has no genuinely attractive traits that would guarantee you to stay with him or her, so your partner tries to maintain control by surveying your appearance, your whereabouts and whatever else he or she can think of. This type of behavior will never change, no matter what.

Your partner acts in this way in order to keep the upper hand in the relationship. You need an equal counterpart, not someone who behaves like your probation officer.

By Ashley Fern. I don't care who you are - If you chain me to a block of gold, I'll still be a prisoner. Men - allow your woman to have her own life and if she still makes you hers, she's worth keeping. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.

The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled.

A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost. Photos via Tumblr. About Contact Newsletter Terms Privacy.

12 Signs You Have a Possessive Boyfriend, Girlfriend or Partner (and What to Do)

But too much jealousy can be the worrying sign of paranoia, which is the prelude of an abusive and toxic relationship. This article will show you the difference between a jealous boyfriend who remains within normal and healthy parameters, and a paranoid boyfriend who might become an abuser. Evolutionary psychology is clear on this: jealousy is hardwired within us. And relationship researcher John Gottman also proves that no jealousy whatsoever is often the precursor of a breakup. So, some jealousy is not only normal, but healthy.

Jealousy can pretty much be the worst, and I feel like there's no such thing as good jealousy or bad jealousy — if it's jealousy, it's not awesome. That being said, there are certain signs that your partner has unhealthy jealousy , and this type of jealousy can really corrode the very fabric of your relationship and make everything just totally suck in your daily life.

When you display a sign of possessiveness, you could be seen as a girl who loves her boyfriend a lot and fears losing him. You may believe that your boyfriend is really possessive only because he loves you so much. And each time he displays his possessiveness and gets to control your behavior, it makes him feel more powerful in the relationship. Jealousy and possessiveness is a vicious cycle that takes turns to rear their head all the time.

11 Signs Your Partner Has Unhealthy Jealousy

Tell those that are pressuring you that you'd rather stay as you are until the right person comes along. I'VE been married to my husband for 14 years and although it was fine for a while, over the last four or five years, he's become very jealous and possessive. I suppose he always was a bit that way, but I didn't really mind too much — I thought it showed how much he loved me. Now though, he makes me feel completely trapped and very claustrophobic. He never lets me go out on my own — I do, but only when he's at work. I hate the sneaking around and the way he cross-questions me when he gets back. I hate the lying and the deceit.

Tips to Deal With Controlling and Jealous Boyfriends

Have your boyfriend's signs of possessiveness progressed into obsessive behavior? Has be become very controlling? Does he expect you to behave in a certain way or wear certain types of clothes? Has your individual personality been wiped off? Does he feel jealous even when you speak with your friends?

There are a number of common traits and attitudes that characterize possessive and controlling men.

He monitors your social media way too closely. That level of social media creepiness is only okay from the woman who gave you life. At first, it could seem like an innocent protective boyfriend move.

Why Jealousy Will Ruin Your Relationship

If you're reading this article, and you're thinking, "Am I in a controlling relationship? First, we need to define what that means. A controlling relationship is one where a person dominates or participates in intimidation toward their partner.

J ealousy. Jealousy can be defined as the vigilant maintaining or guarding of something. Normal jealousy is a pang that comes on in an instant, one which we can usually dismiss on our own. Unhealthy jealous behavior happens when we indulge that feeling and act impulsively from a place of suspicion and insecurity. People that are prone to intense jealousy or possessiveness often harbor feelings of inadequacy or inferiority and have a tendency to compare themselves to others.

Ask Fiona: My husband has become very jealous and controlling

Acting overbearing and possessive can change a loving relationship into one filled with envy, terror and control. Possessiveness comes from feelings of insecurity in a relationship. This person doubts the other out of his or her own negative feelings and, as a result, will become consumed with jealousy. This jealousy will grow into control. This is not only a concept found in intimate relationships, but friendships as well.

Jul 18, - This jealousy will grow into control. This is not “Possessiveness is one of the ugliest qualities a man can have. I don't Maybe your partner feels like he or she struck gold, so to speak, and he or she is terrified of losing you.

I had had some good questions on my website regarding handling a partner's irrational jealousy. The reason I wrote the article What to Do When Your Jealousy Threatens to Destroy Your Marriage for the individual with the problem jealousy is because until that person decides to make changes nothing can be done to eliminate their jealousy. That article has been very popular and many people have indicated to me that they are trying to change their behavior after reading it. However, there are many other people who are not recognizing their jealous behavior and so their partners are writing to me asking what to do. Just because the person with the jealousy problem is the only one who can change it doesn't mean that there is nothing that you, as the partner, can do about your partner's jealousy.

20 Early Warning Signs Of A Possessive And Controlling Boyfriend

When it comes to relationships, there is a very thin line between true love and obsession. In the beginning, a little jealousy here and there is not only normal, but it's healthy. But how can you tell if that line has been crossed? If you pay attention, the warning signs are always there.

Possessive and Controlling Men: Characteristics and Attitudes

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Too Jealous Boyfriend? 7 Signs He Might Be Paranoid

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